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Culture of Life and the Family [1] Position Papers, Jun-Jul 2009, pp. 231-240

Creativity
    Culture suggests art; and the Chinese are renowned world-wide for an artistic tradition that goes back thousands of years, and is still expressed today with that fine touch of delicacy and beauty so often lacking in modern western art. I was reminded of this just yesterday when looking once again at one of those marvellous representations of Our Lady, Queen and Empress of China. What taste, I thought, the artist has!; what sense of beauty and tenderness!; just to look at that work of art raises one's heart to God.
    Such works of art, then, inspire us to thank God not only for having made his Mother so beautiful and given her to the world, but for continuing to raise up truly artistic persons today, and to endow them with the talent and the desire to offer the world new representations of the beauty of Creation and of the even greater beauty given to us through the Incarnation.
    Gifts to the world: that is what the true artist offers. John Paul II recalled this in his Letter to Artists of 1999, addressed "to all who are passionately dedicated to the search for new epiphanies [i.e. expressions] of beauty so that through their creative work as artists they may offer these as gifts to the world".
    The creative work of artists: how rich and enriching it can be. And the more unique and worthwhile the creation, the longer it lasts, carrying with it a touch of immortality. As one twentieth century writer, speaking of the artistic urge, put it: "you make something through your invention..., and you make it alive, and if you make it well enough, you give it immortality" (Ernest Hemingway, Writers at Work, 1963).
    But so often the modern celebration of life - when it believes only in mortality, not in immortality, is so hollow and offers nothing to enrich life. To believe in death, to believe that with death everything definitively dies, is not to believe in life. The only value I see in my own life is that its satisfactions outweigh its pains - for the time being. The moment that is no longer so, I can terminate it.
    These thoughts are not far from our topic, for it is in the family, in the home, where life begins and is cherished and is meant to grow, being life always possessed of true immortality.
    Are our homes focal points of life - which also means of youth and energy and joy and optimism? Or is there a lifelessness precisely there, where life should be at its most expressive? Do we have too many devitalized and depersonalized homes? One family just like another; one couple, two or even three children; all hooked together on TV, or separately on internet, and the same in the neighbouring flat and the one above and the one below. A "home alive" is the great artistic venture project God is proposing to married people: the creation of a family visibly stamped with the culture of life, with a burgeoning personality, with something humanly and divinely original to it.
Creativity and pro-creativity
    Modern "Western" society is withering for lack of true human creativity. Contemporary art is not always ugly, but so much of it gives the impression of being sterile: not born of life and not giving birth to life. Ours is a culture of "trivia". But life is not meant to be trivial or barren. It should be an adventure in carrying on creation, with all of the unique originality that attaches to what is really new, what is truly innovative, what has not been seen before.
    In this sense, human and spousal pro-creativity has a totally unique significance. It is the achievement of two artists together who create a joint work of love endowed with immortality. In the divine adventure of having children the spouses wield God's own creative power. No artist, no scientist, can act on that level; parents can.
    I am not sure if most modern artists really regard their work as beautiful. Perhaps the only artists who consistently do so are parents - as they look at the child born of their creative enterprise: "What a beautiful child!" Friends and neighbors agree externally, though maybe with interior reservations. But God always applauds, and has no reservations.
    Visit any museum of modern art and when you come out count the artistic pieces you saw that really lifted your soul to some sense of God. Then on your way home, count the works of art you meet in the street. They are there, all over the place: God's own creations. God's children, disfigured and all, but in some way bearing his image. You and I can't see it? Then we are not looking with the eyes of God. Our vision has become dulled and we have lost the sense of the value of each individual human life.
    Then go home and contemplate the work of art you and God have created in each of your children. There is life and mystery and eternal value in each child. Each child is a masterpiece, with an image of God stamped uniquely on it. "Reflections of the divine" - that is what people are.
    I live in Africa and there, with so much poverty and yet with so many smiling faces, I am reminded much more of God and of the heart of happiness than in Europe or America with so much glittering glamor and happy hollowness, with so many people wanting to be loved and not finding love, because they are afraid to love, wanting to live and being afraid to give life.
Gospel of Life
    John Paul II preached the culture of life. He wrote an Encyclical devoted to the gospel of life which of course means the good news of life (Evangelium vitae, 1995). But there he contrasts this culture of life with what he does not hesitate to call the culture of death. The contrast is Bible-based. One of the most dramatic moments in the Old Testament is when Moses, in the name of God, challenges the people. "I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live" (Deut 30:19). We live in no less dramatic a moment, the alternative is facing us just as starkly: life and death, blessing and curse - what a disjunction!
    A main instance, though not the only one, of the modern culture of death, is the growing acceptance of abortion. On this issue, we know where we stand; we are clearly pro-life. And we know that the opposite position - "pro-choice" - is not just pro-abortion; it is pro-death, on an ever expanding scale [2].
    The culture of death is fostered by all those who don't trust life, who are afraid of life: afraid to care for the life of the old and even more afraid to give life to the young; to admire old life and to create young life.
    The approach of Mother Teresa of Calcutta, now Blessed, to unwanted life was radically artistic, caring passionately for creation. Her care for unborn and defenseless life grew out of her care for born but unwanted life - the good-for-nothing tramps and derelicts of the big cities. Then she turned to the babies. You don't want a baby? I want it, and will take it. And she was serious. If people had taken her up she would have adopted the whole world of unwanted babies, and if she couldn't give them a home she would have found them a home.
    But let us return to the normal couple, in their artistic life-creating union and mission of marriage. How many unique work of art, immortal works, will they create in their home? Hopefully not just one - even if they think they can lavish on that one all the expense and care to turn it into a masterpiece. Then - maybe two or three? Alright, provided they are not over-spaced! Because some parents seem not to realize how certain family planning approaches, moral and all, may be anything but wise educationally. Take a family where the oldest is 14 or 15, the second 9, and the third 4. In such a home there is not enough real rough and tumble; the children are not close enough for proper rivalry or jealousy to develop between them; given such separation in age, they cannot be near equals in the important matter of family fighting and family learning-to-make up - which, precisely because it demands humility, cements sibling relations just as it cements relations between spouses. If parents don't face up to the challenging task of getting their children to be really forgiving and close, I doubt there will be growing forgiveness and closeness between the parents themselves.
    To fall in love is to find a new meaning in life. Life seems richer to the person in love. They find more joy in it, and they want to spread that joy. If is logical, for love alone gives new value and real sense to life. That is why a first natural desire of two persons in love is to perpetuate their love - in a child that is the fruit of their love-union. But this seems worthwhile if the parents' life is worthwhile: not just because of what they are but even more because of what they hope to be. It is only natural that parents who hope for Heaven, hope for children, also made for heaven.
Too many people killing; not enough giving life
    Let us go back for a moment to grim reality of the "culture of death". The sign of this "culture" is far too obvious: too many people killing. It is all around us. The phenomenon of abortion: giving death to others. That of euthanasia: giving death to oneself. And the no less (but no more) terrible phenomenon of suicide-terrorists, where people's "values" have become so warped that they are prepared to die, not out of hatred for their own life, but for hatred for the lives of others...
    In this culture of death we see too many people killing; and also perhaps not enough giving people life, or being a home for life. Does the culture of life not invite us to consider this point too?
    In a recent conversation with a Canadian friend, father of a young family of seven, I was struck by the unintended irony of a comment made to his wife by a very active Pro-Life worker. "Why don't you say "enough" - seven is surely more than enough! - and then you can join Pro-Life with us?" Her reply - but I have already joined it! She felt herself fully involved in the most creative human work possible. She might not describe herself as an artist but of course she is, although she is probably unaware of how a paragraph of Pope John Paul's letter applies to her and her husband: "In producing a work, artists express themselves to the point where their work becomes a unique disclosure of their own being, of what they are and of how they are what they are" (no. 2). You married couples: to what extent is the culture of life unfolding in your home? To what extent is your house filled with original works of art that speak of the quality of your own inner life, of what you are?
Natural Family Planning, and big-heartedness
    Thank God for Natural Family Planning - Yes indeed! But, for Natural Family Planning reluctantly seen as a necessity by a generous couple, not for Natural Family Planning that springs from a love for ease or comfort: from the absence of the inexhaustible artistic creativity of true love.
    Yes, nature has provided for situations (and they are not infrequent today) where God too would agree that it is not wise to have another child, where He agrees, so to speak, that it is not the moment to offer another life to Him or to the world. The Church has consistently taught, and continues to teach (Encyc. Evangelium Vitae. no. 97), that the practice of natural family planning calls for serious reasons - which are often enough present today, such as acute shortage of housing space, serious health or financial problems. The Church encourages each couple to pray, so as to discern, with God, if those reasons apply to them; and if they do, to practice NFP - but to do so reluctantly.
    After all, it is hard to conceive how a truly pro-life couple can decide to limit the children they bring into the world other than with reluctance. Because to have fewer children is always a reduction of true family vitality. Perhaps the point can be made more clearly if we say that to avoid having another child, is always a privation.
    First of all it is a privation humanly speaking, and that in many senses:
    - a privation for the spouses themselves because they are deprived of one more unique expression and bond of their married love
    - a privation for the existing children, for they will have among them one less incarnated image of God with whom to struggle and in whom eventually to discover another reflection of the divine. I would suggest to spouses who too easily incline to family limitation, to recall John Paul II's reminder to them: "it is certainly less serious to deny their children certain comforts or material advantages than to deprive them of the presence of brothers and sisters, who could help them to grow in humanity and to realize the beauty of life at all its ages and in all its variety" (Insegnamenti di Giovanni Paolo II, II, 2 (1979), p. 702).
    - a privation for society which needs all the possible life-proud expressions of the dynamism of large families which are the only truly effective schools of fraternity, tolerance, forgiveness and understanding.
    In the second place it can also be a privation on the supernatural level for it may be saying No to a child that God did want, a child for whom God also wished, as He wishes for you and me, the gift of eternal life, of Heaven. In God's plans, so to speak, there may remain gaps, spaces empty for eternity, that were meant to be filled with life - and life was not given. Will we have another child of God? Will God give us another child? Will we give God another child?
    Your children are not just yours; they are God's too. That is why you have to plan with Him. As you know, the only proper family planning decisions are taken in prayer.
    If we want to be truly Christian, there is no way we can escape that question: what does God want of me? How much does He want of me, of us? The answer is clear: he wants the lot. After all, the first Commandment for each of us is to love God with all our heart and soul and strength and mind. When you get the temptation to think that God is asking too much, don't try to bargain with Him, to whittle Him down.
    How much is God asking of you? Another child? Two more? I wouldn't know. It's between you and God. Would you love that extra child or two? Would your present children learn to love him or her as a gift of God? There lies your challenging task as parents. If you are imbued with the culture of life to that extent, your children too will make tomorrow's world more pro-life. But, you may say, it is easier for the children to want the baby because they don't know the burdens... Is it a question just of burdens or rather a question of values? Several years ago some friends of mine in England were expecting their fourth child. The third-born, already five, was filled with expectation. Then the mother had a miscarriage. The father had to tell the little girl, as best he could. He managed it rather lamely; and ended up with a 'darling, it is better so'. It didn't satisfy the child: 'But, Daddy, is there anything better than a baby?' Could it be that here children have a value system closer to that of God?
Bringing children into an evil world?
    Let me refer now to one objection which presents itself to many good people, and which I understand full well. "The thing is that I do not want to bring a child into a world like ours where there is so much evil, and where it seems so easy to go wrong and so hard to go right, to get to Heaven".
    No! if life is better than death, God is stronger than the Devil, good attracts more than evil. Evil attracts? Of course! I imagine you saw that TV interview with Mel Gibson just before his "Passion" came out. After he had described his own life, which almost led him to suicide, he was asked why he had given the figure of Satan or Evil he introduced into his film a face not only strong but in some way attractive. His answer: because Evil attracts!... But the more of it you take into yourelf, the emptier you become!
    People are becoming empty today, hollow people; and the more they calculate the various ways of filling that emptiness - pleasure, possessions, comfort, power - the emptier and more unhappy they become. Behind all of this, apart from a lack of faith in God, there is a grave human error. The mistake of trying to calculate your way to happiness. One of the most verifiable facts about calculation is that it never adds up to happiness. Happiness is just not gotten by calculation. Nor can it be bought (go into the nearest store: do you sell happiness here? How much does it cost?). Happiness is the result of learning to love, and the key to love is to come out of self, to stop calculation and to put your hand and your life into God's hands. He will lead you to happiness, also through the Cross. There is no other way.
The music of the family
    The Pope's Letter to Artists has special words of praise for musicians, who enrich the world with the music of life, with that singing which naturally accompanies the gospel announcement of the Good News, as it did at the first Christmas. "In order to communicate the message entrusted to her by Christ, the Church needs art... The Church also needs musicians. How many sacred works have been composed through the centuries by people deeply imbued with the sense of the mystery! The faith of countless believers has been nourished by melodies flowing from the hearts of other believers..." (no. 12).
    Perhaps the most important melody to be sung today is that of the family. Oh yes, the firm strong music of motherly and fatherly love gathering up the raucous response of children and turning it into a strong symphony of the sound of love. But, who can live with a child bawling? And yet our whole culture cannot live without rock and rap. How a mother's lullaby (even if she sings out of tune) sounds before the throne of God - better than the Hosannas of the angels.
    Too many people today feel they belong nowhere, and, even worse, that they never had a place where they belonged. We all need a place where we belong, however little we deserve it. What woman does not want to have someone to whom it means something very special when she says "I'm here" (Mel Gibson's film also had a lesson in the greatness of that mutual consolation). Hence the power and merit and authority of the mother and father who are dedicated to making a home, to being a home, and to being at home. What a pro-life witness this is!
    This indeed is counter-cultural. The culture of life set powerfully over and against the culture of death. You Christian couples have to be a mystery to others, a puzzle, because you fly in the face of their superficial and unhappy values: - freer from material concerns; - treasuring each child as a work of art and a gift of God; - happier in family life; - richer in the vitality of family interaction. THAT is surprising; that is a witness to hope and to faith. That in the end convinces that life and love are more powerful than death.

NOTES
[1] Conference given in Hong Kong, for the opening of the Diocesan Year of the Family, April 27, 2007.
[2] The elimination of unwanted human beings - which the Pro-Choice movement defends as a moral choice and claims as a legal right - carries in it an impetus which does not stop at aborting the unborn and unwanted child. Its logic knows no age limit. Once accepted it extends itself inexorably to infanticide, to compulsory "euthanasia", to the elimination of the unfit. Pro-choice is thoroughly seeped in the culture of death!